*Coronacoaster*
The ups and downs of your mood during the
pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute
but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional
coronacoaster".
*Quarantinis*
Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random
ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store
cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry
garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during
lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.
*Le Creuset wrist*
It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after
taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’
It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your
high-quality kitchenware.
*Coronials*
As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future
generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They
might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the
Quarn”.
*Furlough Merlot*
Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the
frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.
*Coronadose*
An overdose of bad news from consuming too much
media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.
*The elephant in the Zoom*
The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call
that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on
weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house
visible in the background.
*Quentin Quarantino*
An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to
make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they
actually are.
*Covidiot*
One who ignores public health advice or behaves
with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display
“covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown”
*Goutbreak*
The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much
wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles
are swelling up like a medieval king’s.
*Antisocial distancing*
Using health precautions as an excuse for
snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.
*Coughin’ dodger*
Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or
throat-clear that they back away in terror.
*Mask-ara*
Extra make-up applied to "make one's eyes
pop" before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.
*Covid-10*
The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from
comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve.
